The power and epidemic of "No"....
In many blogs, instagram posts, parenting books, magazine articles that I have read in recent years have had the same quote..."Say Yes More Than No...."
Whether you are republican or democrat, white or black, tall or short....I hear all the time across the board-"Our society is in such a rush"...."We live in an entitled society"..."I am so busy all the time"... So I ask you, exactly what ELSE should we be saying yes to?
I had a wake up call recently with getting sick, I know 3 ulcers is not life threatening, and I have friends fighting cancer right now, but it was very hard to be anything when I was nauseated and close to throwing up all day for weeks and in so much pain I cried daily. Its my reality, and it really stunk to be like this when I am a go-getter, homeschool and homemaker Mom. My saying 'yes' days were over, and learning to scale back is still so difficult. I am in a mending season, and need to prioritize not only on a daily basis, but a moment to moment basis. I keep finding myself offering myself without looking at what I have to take away or how it affects my husband and kids. Saying yes puts something on top of a full plate and you have to take something else off, or you keep adding and soon you can't carry it any more or it all falls apart.
I have since started a medication, walking and taking yoga class, listening to uplifting podcasts, intentionally relaxing, eating even healthier, having many friends pray over me, for me, and learning to be calmer, slower, and intentional. I am asking for more help from my husband, my family, and our friends. No one is supposed to do all this alone. Carpooling, and shifting certain responsibilities from one full plate to one asking-how can I help? It's ok, LET IT GO. People don't ask just to be nice, its in some of our own innate selves to be helpful, bless them by saying YES! This IS what you should say yes to. If you are frazzled and someone needs you to volunteer-this is when you say no, and its not no forever...its just a no right now in this season you are in.
Beatitudes Matthew 5:7 "God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown Mercy." This verse spoke to me over the weekend and was a great conversation to if you are a mercy person or a truth person. I feel that the more life you live, the more of a mercy person you become. Before I was a mom, I was a rotten teenager-I apologize to my mom alot now. Before I was a Mom, I found myself watching other moms and saying, Oh I would never..... Immaturity is an awful thing, but we all have to go through it, we don't get to choose really. In our growing pains is where we really draw close to God. When we go through certain stages of life we have yet experienced, I think we become more merciful afterwards and are able to let go and offer kind words of encouragement to those who are going through a similar situation we have previously experienced. Mercy people have been where you have been, they GET IT. They are wise, and know how to help and what it entails for them to help.
One day it will be you, it will be me. I will see a Mom, a Woman, hurting, stressed out, and needing help. I will be filled with mercy and offer what I can because I have space. I hope this is when she is empowered to say Yes, and lets it go.
Last week if I would have said 'yes' to meeting with friends and their kids for a book club for the moms while the kids played it would have been so rushed and insane. I would be rushing the kids' schoolwork, rush to drive 20 minutes there, be there for only an hour and a half, and rush the kids away from friends to drive 30 minutes to pick up Little Man, hurry back in the car to get home to feed Peanut before rushing her to basketball. EVEN THOUGH it was something I call a "God thing", where I am gathering with other people who believe and inspire me, it still would have been a bad decision. God wants me calm, and loving. Not frazzled and rushing my family, and then full of hot air by the time my husband gets home from holding my breath with all the craziness. Its ok to say No, even if it is a God thing.
With saying No that day, I got to experience my girls playing so well together outside during school breaks, and I jumped on the trampoline with them. I watched them laugh so hard till they fell over and they even told me at the end of the day-today was fun, Mom. I couldn't help but well up with tears. All day I had a text thread of 10 moms going to this book club, and felt guilty for not going, and for not socializing my kids with their Co Op friends. This showed me what the power of No looks like. Its not easy, the enemy was on me all day about it, but I had such peace that night after seeing what our day looks like when we say no. It was so refreshing, and validating.
Back to the quote-"Say yes more than No" is not something I am going to let this world convince me of. Back to the question-what else should we be saying yes to? Yes, to more white space. Yes to more down time. Yes, to accepting other people offering help.
For those of you who have not read The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst, I highly recommend it! And now I need to go re-read it.....
Whether you are republican or democrat, white or black, tall or short....I hear all the time across the board-"Our society is in such a rush"...."We live in an entitled society"..."I am so busy all the time"... So I ask you, exactly what ELSE should we be saying yes to?
I had a wake up call recently with getting sick, I know 3 ulcers is not life threatening, and I have friends fighting cancer right now, but it was very hard to be anything when I was nauseated and close to throwing up all day for weeks and in so much pain I cried daily. Its my reality, and it really stunk to be like this when I am a go-getter, homeschool and homemaker Mom. My saying 'yes' days were over, and learning to scale back is still so difficult. I am in a mending season, and need to prioritize not only on a daily basis, but a moment to moment basis. I keep finding myself offering myself without looking at what I have to take away or how it affects my husband and kids. Saying yes puts something on top of a full plate and you have to take something else off, or you keep adding and soon you can't carry it any more or it all falls apart.
I have since started a medication, walking and taking yoga class, listening to uplifting podcasts, intentionally relaxing, eating even healthier, having many friends pray over me, for me, and learning to be calmer, slower, and intentional. I am asking for more help from my husband, my family, and our friends. No one is supposed to do all this alone. Carpooling, and shifting certain responsibilities from one full plate to one asking-how can I help? It's ok, LET IT GO. People don't ask just to be nice, its in some of our own innate selves to be helpful, bless them by saying YES! This IS what you should say yes to. If you are frazzled and someone needs you to volunteer-this is when you say no, and its not no forever...its just a no right now in this season you are in.
Beatitudes Matthew 5:7 "God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown Mercy." This verse spoke to me over the weekend and was a great conversation to if you are a mercy person or a truth person. I feel that the more life you live, the more of a mercy person you become. Before I was a mom, I was a rotten teenager-I apologize to my mom alot now. Before I was a Mom, I found myself watching other moms and saying, Oh I would never..... Immaturity is an awful thing, but we all have to go through it, we don't get to choose really. In our growing pains is where we really draw close to God. When we go through certain stages of life we have yet experienced, I think we become more merciful afterwards and are able to let go and offer kind words of encouragement to those who are going through a similar situation we have previously experienced. Mercy people have been where you have been, they GET IT. They are wise, and know how to help and what it entails for them to help.
One day it will be you, it will be me. I will see a Mom, a Woman, hurting, stressed out, and needing help. I will be filled with mercy and offer what I can because I have space. I hope this is when she is empowered to say Yes, and lets it go.
Last week if I would have said 'yes' to meeting with friends and their kids for a book club for the moms while the kids played it would have been so rushed and insane. I would be rushing the kids' schoolwork, rush to drive 20 minutes there, be there for only an hour and a half, and rush the kids away from friends to drive 30 minutes to pick up Little Man, hurry back in the car to get home to feed Peanut before rushing her to basketball. EVEN THOUGH it was something I call a "God thing", where I am gathering with other people who believe and inspire me, it still would have been a bad decision. God wants me calm, and loving. Not frazzled and rushing my family, and then full of hot air by the time my husband gets home from holding my breath with all the craziness. Its ok to say No, even if it is a God thing.
With saying No that day, I got to experience my girls playing so well together outside during school breaks, and I jumped on the trampoline with them. I watched them laugh so hard till they fell over and they even told me at the end of the day-today was fun, Mom. I couldn't help but well up with tears. All day I had a text thread of 10 moms going to this book club, and felt guilty for not going, and for not socializing my kids with their Co Op friends. This showed me what the power of No looks like. Its not easy, the enemy was on me all day about it, but I had such peace that night after seeing what our day looks like when we say no. It was so refreshing, and validating.
Back to the quote-"Say yes more than No" is not something I am going to let this world convince me of. Back to the question-what else should we be saying yes to? Yes, to more white space. Yes to more down time. Yes, to accepting other people offering help.
For those of you who have not read The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst, I highly recommend it! And now I need to go re-read it.....
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