What am I looking for?

" I'm curious on how those with auto immune disease[s], flare ups, etc. can help me with ideas on how to shop and cook healthy for your family.

I'd prefer to grocery pickup and prime than go to the 4-5 places I need to get what our family needs, but feel guilty for supporting these business's. As I get tired of cooking breakfast and dinner (I admit lunches are usually chicken nuggets, hot dogs, sandwiches for my youngest) I can go back to old habits and use easy foods. My FMI doc and health therapist are both on the same page- my stress comes from me- in the fact that I can do all the things- pray, say 'no', rest, stretch, journal, walk, be in nature- it's my mind clutter and learning to mentally disconnect from other people's response, baggage they dump on me, and how to accept things as they are- but I feel very strongly about nourishing ourselves with food. My husband is a rock star and so supportive, super thankful for him- but he does not cook and will not take that on. I have a passion that food can heal or destroy and its a real project around here with celiac, nut and fish allergies and with fatigue its a battle I choose and I feel guilty for using chain stores and Amazon prime to save time."

This is what I was going to post to a Facebook gut healing group. What am I looking for? I originally thought I was looking for ideas, and that maybe there is a mom out there in the same boat who has fresh ideas. But what I realized the more I typed was that I was looking for approval. That what I was doing was ok. That I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom, who wants to be home, cooking good food and being available to whatever God has for me and I need to be validated by strangers or invite others to tell me otherwise. So, may I do grocery pick up and prime so I can do what makes not only 'me' happy, but my family? I am ok with how I am doing it, but I imagine someone out there is appalled that I support chains instead of keeping the ma and pa shops open, along with local co-ops and I am afraid of their comments or judgement. It's an all-day event to grocery shop in the traffic where we live now and to get all the things we need. And here I go, trying to justify what makes our home peaceful. And as long as I am justifying, I do stop and shop small, I just can't do it weekly.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 "Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands as we instructed before. Then people who are not Christians will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others."

For starters, minding your own business doesn't just mean people giving you unwanted information/advice/judgment, it is also you not looking for or inviting information/advice/judgment that will rob you of mental space where God is trying to work. In a way I feel like this is telling me to garden, homestead and put up our own meat and vegetables. And maybe I will next year. Or maybe I never will. But in all of scripture, His living word tells me to seek peace, and pursue it. I am peaceful ordering, picking up, checking my doorstep and being home, to cook, bake, clean, cuddle, conflict, and resolve. And love. And love only comes from a place of truth, peace, and rest. This has always been the goal-yet I look around to see what others are doing and not minding my own business, thus my focus is not working with my own hands with my own stuff. This is where God wants me-focused- minding my own business and working with my hands where He has chosen for me to be-and I want to listen.

What should I be looking for? God and only His acceptance and approval; His peace and rest that only He can provide. Grocery pickup and Prime are great time savers- His word? Life giving and Lifesaving.

Blessings on all of you tending your field, whatever it is and to keep your focus on Him and where He wants you and that God gives you the spiritual peace we all desire.